Traveling

       O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets, and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!

     This is the sound of the Father’s heart breaking. “you were not willing!” I think we all to often underestimate or take God’s love for granted. We scratch the surface, but we fail to see the depth and almost impossible quality of it. We say very simply to those who ask, “God loves us.” But we fail to note that God loves quite differently. When I say I love someone and when God says He loves someone, it’s like comparing the moon and the sun. No contest. Game Over before I’ve even picked up the gamepad.

     He reaches out even to the unwilling, the killers of His prophets and the stoners (???) of His messengers. Often, we think that we can somehow be worthy/unworthy of being loved… I find the little voice inside me saying that’s how love is. But I don’t think God’s love is dolled out based on worthiness. God knows every freaking thing about me. Those deep dark secret things that no one knows. How the heck can I go around saying, “God loves me” with a straight face? God loves because it is intrinsic to His character. (Now stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it… I’m sure you’ll find nothing of that particular flavor.)

     God’s love may seem alien, but the expression of His love is not. “as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings” It is an everyday occurrance. We have eyes to see it, but we do not see it. We have ears to hear it, but we don’t listen for it. God wishes to pull us close under the cover of his wings. Come closer, my child.

   I don’t really appreciate travel. It’s a strange thing, because I always hear about all these people who love to travel. To see these sights and do these things. But I don’t think I’ve ever been really attracted to any particular place, but rather to people. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I rarely use my vacation days except for special occassions. You know, weddings, graduations, moving, etc. I’m digressing, but here’s my line of thought on traveling.

   No matter what country or region you go to, you’ll find the same kinds of people. You’ll find inconsiderate, well-mannered, suave, clutzy, devious, naieve, chatty, quiet, cool, calculated, impulsive, free, enslaved, exploited, rich, poor, passionate, apathetic, lazy, perfectionistic, angry, depressed, powerful, arrogant… etc. The thing that will be different is the language, culture, manners, landmarks and traditions around you. I guess that isn’t enough to make me hop want around the globe.

   However, something has come up recently that kinda caught my interest. I think I need to go camping. Most vacations make me tired just thinking about them, but I think going out into the forest would actually be refreshing. So I just bought a camping hammock and I’m looking for an opportunity to use it. Camping, hiking and getting eaten alive by mosquitos… I may just feel more alive when I’m surrounded by nature.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Something has been bothering me the past couple of weeks and I’ve been having some trouble figuring out exactly what it was. (So I even get lost trying to figure out my heart and mind, so sue me.) I was lying in my bed trying to sleep and ended up having a silent conversation with the Big Man when an idea struck me. And the more I followed that train of thought, the more it made sense to me. My spiritual car is running on fumes. Don’t misunderstand me, I’ve been going to church on Sundays, but I haven’t really been meeting The Church. You know, the fam in Christ. My family group stopped meeting around half a month ago. I’ve been doing my best to not get too close to any sisters. And the brothers that I’m close to are… far away. Esohn80 moved down south. Oneeyedking is trotting around Europe somewhere. Kewlnesscounts is on the other side of earth.

I miss talking about the unseen. Ruminating on the priceless. Sharing praise reports about how God’s been moving and answering prayer. Sharing burdens and lifting each other up. Reflecting on the goodness of Da Man, Jesus. The daily grind is slowly taking its toll on me and I have this growing sense of unease. I feel trapped, alone, and dumb. This walk was never meant to be done alone…

So consider this your personal invitation. I work near UPenn / Drexel. Let’s meet up for lunch. We’ll talk about things that really matter. Like love, purpose, pain, suffering, life, joy, the unseen, the priceless…

And for those of you who don’t live near me. You know what to do. I know there’s brothers and sisters near you. Live it out!

Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him.”

In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.”

“How can a man be born when he is old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
— John 3:1-8 (NIV) —

(I forgot what the topic was supposed to be about. I had to pray and meditate to recover my train of thought. )

This child of God has gotten older… in a bad way.

Why do I care so much about what other people think? what other people will say? Why don’t I care more about what God thinks of how I’m living my life? Fighting the darker spots in my life. Attacking those things in my heart & mind that offend my God… Sometimes my life feels like just putting one foot in front of the other in slow, measured and determined paces. Other times, it seems like God shows me a cliff and asks me to step off. Crazy. Foolish. Excessive. Where has the trusting heart of the child gone?

If “our father in heaven” is true… then is it not true that I have a Daddy-God? What valid reason does a child of the Almighty have to fear? How many fulfilled promises does it take for a child to trust in their father? And when you’ve decided to reach past fear and pride, what will you find?

Rebirth. Thankfulness. Awe. Graciousness. Joy.

Feeling the wind cavort through your hair.

Wonder at the uniqueness of each snowflake within a snowstorm.

Reveling in the myriad dance of scent, flavor and texture in your food.

Losing yourself in a song.

== Clickie, clickie ==

::enable stealth mode::
(hey all you sitemeter, xtracker, suhock people… can you see me?)

lookie at da purty pictures~

== EDIT 1.0 ==

Um… Can someone tell me exact what being shady is? (context)

   Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

   We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
     
   God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

This was originally supposed to be an expository study on love vs fear. But, now that I’ve tried doing that… and this is turning into a topical / story-telling piece instead. Maybe it’s not really possible to do an expository study on a topic. :chuckles: Imagine that…   My apologies, little sis.

First and foremost. Love. Love looks strangely out of place in this world. Don’t you agree? Next to selfishness we have the idea of sacrifice. Instead of the dog-eat-dog, we have elements of respect and of honor. Instead of grudges we have forgiveness. In lieu of treating others as they treat us, we have the ideal of treating others as we wish to be treated. Loving someone not because they are somehow deserving or have earned it, but rather because it is in Love’s nature to pursue and reach out.

I’ve read over that passage about 3 times. and prayed over it. The passage didn’t get any clearer… But my mind did go off on a somewhat profitable tangent (at least I thought so), so I shall digress. I thought about how it says in the bible that God is love. But I’m not talking about this cultural idea we have (that smells suspiciously of lust / just affection). Not that watered-down, not-filling version… I’m talking about the biblical version. Patient, kind, unfailing. How often have you or I been in the grips of something like that? The kind of love that says it is willing to wait. A love that covers over wrongs. A love that is altruistic (think: gallent knight!). Now add to this the other pieces of God we know of: God’s might. God’s provider nature. His intimate knowledge of us… inside and out. His righteousness and desire for justice.

Now imagine yourself in the grips of Mr. God/Love… He is more than enough to address any of our fears. He is strong enough to make our fears run home with it’s tail between it’s legs. Disengage yourself from Him and…  well, I don’t know what to say.

On another tangent, hate is not the opposite of love. Hate is just love twisted out of shape. Take the emotional energy within that drives us to hate and I think we’ll find that they are very similiar to what drives us to love. The opposite of love is apathy & fear. Paranoid thoughts and lack of compassion. I’d take a hateful person over an apathetic person. You can communicate with a hateful person in a meaningful way. But when someone is in the grips of apathy, what meaningful communication can you have? They just don’t give a crap. I care only for myself. I always got to keep my eye out on #1. I’d rather be eating rather than eaten.

Dad, you rock. Help us to reflect You better in our daily lives. I ask this in the name of the one who showed us first, Jesus. Amen.
=== Online Tidbits ===

Order in the court!
Snot By Tizzy
Water – The magic potion (PG)

== Other ==

It’s surprising how some things just stick in your mind.

Don’t stick forks in your eye.

Life’s Simple Pleasures

— tagged by the xangian former known as alilkrji (welcome back~)

Name 10 of life’s simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick 10 people to do the same.
(Be original and creative)

01. Building something out of sand at the beach
02. Watching the waves
03. Water Ice after a long and crazy workout
04. Back Massages
05. Talking to goldfish
06. Sipping coffee at the wrong time with good friends
07. Wrestling
08. Singing praises with spirit and truth
09. Bear Hugs
10. Dancing like no one’s watching

hmm, who to tag. I’ll tag oneeyedking, e7sense, simp1e_song, gusgus, esohn80, Hahacincin2, ocean_floor, TizzyAlexander, Wangnation, & Exit39.

My next post is going to be on Love vs. Fear. 

So I’d like to ask my readers’ a favor. yes, you~

Post up about a time where God asked you to do something crazy. And what it took for you to conquer your fear and do it.

(Now crazy is different for different people… like asking a person who is afraid of heights to go climb up the side of a cliff or something.)

Thanks!

I’ve learned two things this past month. I’d like to share with you reading there. For those who are just skimming, I will try to keep this short & sweet.

I suck at fighting on a heart-level. Logic & knowledge… no sweat. Depression, sadness, fear, pride, love… guh. so weak. Where’s the joy gone?
(P.S. I had more typed, but it got accidentally deleted and I don’t think I can re-type it. sorry.)

I’ve got an interesting story. I think I have some trouble communicating with women. Not on a spoken basis, but rather… a sub-conscious level? I have friends with ladies that I’m not interested in. I do my best to help them when they are going through tough times and just be around when they need someone to shut up and listen. (I don’t know if I do a really good job of shutting up and listening sometimes… by anyway.) I’ve had this friend for about… say 2 yrs now? and she keeps getting the idea that I’m interested in her. Luckily for me, this lady is completely blunt & up-front. She’s told me (straight-up, no-nonsense terms) that she’s not interested in me except for as a friend. I’m cool with that, cuz I’m not interested in her either. But evidently something keeps setting off her alarms because she’s felt the need to inform me of this fact… say 3 times now?

Sure, maybe her mental alerts are kinda sensitive… But this is not the first time that I’ve given a lady an impression that I’m interested when I just wanted to be friends. After pondering this in my heart for awhile, this is what came back. For some ladies, I feel somehow like they are my little sisters and I just want to help them. Deep down in my heart, it’s simply that… I wish to be of service. But there’s another piece sitting in there that does not show itself quite as readily. Deep down, I also have another type of drive. This desire to be intimate with a woman. And I’m not talking about just sex. I’m talking about I want to know what drives her. What makes her smile. What makes her sad. What makes her feel loved. I just wish to be close to her.

But evidently I am not very good at sorting out my signals. Or maybe I’m accidentally sending out signals. Thoughts?

Then we shall know fully, even as we are fully known.

Dad, It seems I’ve lost that joy you gave me. A little help, please? Thank you for the work you’ve done so far, but it seems there’s still quite a way to go and I know I can’t make it on my own. Lead on again. I want to try to follow again. Help me to keep you #1. You know I haven’t been doing a good job at that either. I’m sure there’s other stuff, but you know all about that. May Your good will be done. In your son’s precious name, Amen.

Plowing, Planting, (Waiting), Cultivating, Culling, Harvesting…

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

     With certain types of fruit trees, there is a need to cull the fruit off the tree. Essentially if this tree is left to bear fruit on it’s own, the fruits tend to be smaller and somewhat lower quality. But if you take a tree that has very young fruit or blossoms before the fruit has gotten a chance to grow and remove some of the fruit/blossoms, when the harvest season comes, you’ll end up with much larger and higher quality fruit. The reasoning behind this is pretty simple, the tree has a finite number of leaves and can only take in so much nutrients through the roots, essentially there is limited resources for the tree to use in bearing fruit. If you remove (prune) some of the fruit-bearing portions of the tree, you are forcing the tree to focus it’s energy on the limited number of fruit-bearing portions. But focusing the usage of resources to fewer fruits, you end up with larger and better quality fruit.

     For me, I know this means I should focus more on the things that really matter. Like eternal-stuff: Showing people the way home, developing spiritual endurance, praying, loving people, loving God. Care less about other stuff: like my car (Gotta fix the alignment), my computer (Should I upgrade my laptop drive from a 40gb, 5400 rpm HD to a XXgb, 7200 rpm HD?), video games (I played co-op on Halo 2 for 6 hrs on July 4th.)

     In addition, I’ve been thinking a bit about this in terms of ministry. Does it mean that my focus should be in areas that bear more fruit? or better fruit? And how does this apply to a church congregation as a whole? Are we supposed to cut off some ministries because they are not visibly bearing fruit? hmm… (just rambling…) Yea, I’m thinking some of my fruit is really crappy quality.

   While the Israelites were in the desert, a man was found gathering wood on the Sabbath day. Those who found him gathering wood brought him to Moses and Aaron and the whole assembly, and they kept him in custody, because it was not clear what should be done to him. Then the LORD said to Moses, “The man must die. The whole assembly must stone him outside the camp.” So the assembly took him outside the camp and stoned him to death, as the LORD commanded Moses.

I think sometimes (maybe more often than not), God just wants me to sit down & shut up.

   “Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last. To pluck the mask from the face of the Pharisee, is not to lift an impious hand to the Crown of Thorns.
   These things and deeds are diametrically opposed; they are distinct as is vice from virtue. Men too often confound them; they should not be confounded: appearance should not be mistaken from truth; narrow human doctrines, that only tend to elate and magnify a few, should not be substituted for a world-redeeming creed of Christ. There is –I repeat it– a difference; and it is a good, and not a bad action to mark broadly and clearly the line of separation between them.
   The world may not like to see these ideas dissevered, for it has been accustomed to blend them; finding it convenient to make external show pass for sterling worth — to let white-washed walls vouch for clean shrines. It may hate him who dares to scrutinise and expose — to rase the gilding, and show base metal under it — to penetrate the sepulchre, and reveal charnel relics: but, hate as it will, it is indebted to him.
   Ahab did not like Micaiah, because he never prophesied good concerning him, but evil: probably he liked the sycophant son of Chenaanah better; yet might Ahab have escaped a bloody death, had he but stopped his ears to flattery, and opened them to faithful counsel.”

Currer Bell
Dec. 21st, 1847

Read Jane Eyre By Charlotte Bronte see related

Read Shiokari Pass By Bill Aheila Fearnehough see related

Ever felt like a book had gut punched you and left you curled in a ball on the ground? Feel free to read Shiokari Pass. (The blurb on the cover does it no justice.)

== Security Upgrade 3.0 ==

Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for her.

— Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) —

<PERSONAL RAMBLE>
Pain
I’ve discovered new muscles in my legs. (And no… I’ve never taken anatomy & physiology.) I’ve discovered them after jogging about 1.5 miles Sunday evening. I know they’re there now b/c they protest when I sit down and when I walk up & down the stairs. I was feeling really blah this weekend, so I decided that the best way to get out of the slump was to kill myself. Inflict some sort of bodily injury. I feel most alive immediately after I’ve stubbed my toe or squished my fingers or accidentally cut myself in some manner… don’t you think so? It seems to me that pain is just God’s way of telling you you’re not quite dead yet. (in this life anyway…) So if you see me doing what seems to be a homie-G limp, I’m not trying to be cool, it actually hurts, alright?

Rebellion
OBEY, OBey, obey… I know what I should do is memorize all these cards, illustrations, verses, lead-ins, etc… for my evangelism class, but I honestly hate it. Nothing against the course, material, or teacher… and I can even see how this stuff would help to clarify the gospel message into a simple 5-minute conversation. The book sits in my bag, day after day… it’s really sad that I paid money for that and it’s doing no good sitting in my bag collecting wrinkles & crumples. BLAH ! Witness, Disciple, Testify…

Fear
I went to visit Grace House which is one of the places that GCC hopes to renovate and use for church activities and stuff. I was chilling out and then P.Y. actually came over and started talking to me. Asked me about where I went to school, work, friends, etc. It’s kinda funny when I look back on it now, but when I was talking to him, I actually just freaked out. Twitched out. I have no clue. maybe it was all that thinking got my imagination thinking things that weren’t really there… fear of the unknown? He was like… “We are just chatting…” Gotta give the man props for being perceptive. Kinda like an angel of God, “Fear not!” Anyways, I think I’ve calmed down from that and it’s amusing to think about, maybe we’ll actually chat again and hopefully this time I won’t twitch out. Fear God, not man…

Battle Plan.
I’ve been losing more battles with immorality than I’d like to admit. Heck, when you come right down to it, losing even one battle is more than I’d like. But I know there’s gotta be a reason for this, so I went back and looked over my defenses for key areas of weakness. So to shore up my defenses, this is the list of things that I need to do every single day to be prepared.

1. Sleep 8-9 hours everyday.
2. Morning prayer (15 mins of chill time w/ the Lord)
3. Daily reading / meditating on the Word

Here’s my reasoning behind it. #1 is simple. If I am tired, it’s alot harder for me to fight off urges & impulses. Fatigue saps my energy and also I’m not alert enough to avoid those ambushes I’ll run into in the course of the day. #2 keeps me in tune with what God is up to in my life. It gives me time to rant, rave, assess, re-center myself within the eternal perspective. #3 allows God to smack me upside the head with correction and shine some light into my life so I can recognize trash as trash and gold as gold. If I fail on #1, I cannot do #2 nor #3… I’ll fall asleep. So I’m gonna go to sleep now.
</PERSONAL RAMBLE>

Vote on PA’s official bumper sticker!

Currently Reading Two Ways to Live: Know and Share the Gospel: Participant’s Manual By Tony J. Payne, Phillip D. Jensen see related

=== EDIT 1.0 ===

Whole Grains: (Beyond wheat, barley & oats)
Video Game Detox Clinic
Getting fired can kill you.
Midwives (This one’s for you mish~)
Japan’s falling birthrate (stats about sex & countries)
Getting rid of money, How to
Setting a good example (Saving money)
AT&T has a new privacy policy: (and you thought it was to protect your privacy?)
Good catch!
Murder by sex
Promiscuity Vaccine
The magic of the family meal
Mailman in Pottstown has a most interesting day…